I must apologize for the scant posts of the past couple of weeks. Barbara and I are both in a period of transition, thus the length of time between our writings. I just brought my first child to college this past weekend. Next weekend Barbara brings her second, then starts a new full time job the following week. We will establish a new rhythm as the days progress. For now, we’re in a time of transition.
Life is full of transitions – those unsettled journeys from what we know to what is unknown and unfamiliar. They can be journeys of fear or journeys of faith. I think this is especially true when it involves our children.
Nothing in the world can prepare us for what happens to our hearts when we become a mom. The depth of love and concern we experience as mothers is completely foreign prior to their arrival – no matter how they arrive. The joys and accomplishments bring us to heights of delight and the trials to the depths of worry and fear. Ultimately, we let them go, surrendering them again and again into the arms of God.
The thing we must hold onto is that He loves them more than we do. He created them out of love and wants them to be with Him forever in heaven – just like we do.
As an adoptive mom, I think I know this in a way that most mothers don’t. Had my daughters been born to me, I think I would have felt that I had some part in their creation and therefore had greater “ownership” (for lack of a better word) of them. But, they are His first. He created them. Out of love, the deep love of another, He gave them to me…to me. You cannot imagine the deep, deep humility and breathless awe at the love of God through another person, until you have her hand you her child to love and to raise as your own. It is an experience like no other.
It has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. And now, it’s time to let go some more – as God, the Father, did, as Out Lady did, as Jesus did.
So today and in the days ahead, I ask you to pray with me and Barbara and for us, that we will trust God with our children the way He trusted them with us; that we will join with Our Lady in praying for our children as she did for her son, Jesus; that we will seek His will for the changes that lie in front of us and that we will have the courage and the love to follow Him.
May God bless you and keep you, Anne